


A Mind Full Of Flightless Birds

by treehousefire



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Josh Dun-centric, Sad Josh Dun, Tyler is a sweetheart, and jenna is also a sweetheart, not joshler but can be if you squint, tyler cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treehousefire/pseuds/treehousefire
Summary: Josh is having a rather tough time on his own and finally reaches out to Tyler for help.





	A Mind Full Of Flightless Birds

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first work that I post here. I hope you'll like it! And please comment! :)

_Not another one._

That is the first thought that came to his mind. He woke up, opened his eyes and closed them again. He can feel his sore muscles aching as if he’d just finished a marathon. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how long he sleeps. Every time he wakes up, he feels even more tired, worn out. 

Josh’s first instinct is to reach for his smartphone next to him on the mattress. He didn’t even bother to fully charge it overnight. _But why would I?_ Josh is neither going out nor planning on using it to its full extensions. Looking at the screen, he sighs. 

No new messages except some push notifications of apps he doesn’t use.  
No new calls.  
Nothing.

Josh tosses the device aside. He sits up, glancing over his room. _My messy, disgusting room._  
He’d love to do some cleaning. No, scratch that. He’d love to find the **will** to tidy his room. _Why should I even bother doing that? To impress myself? Oh, don’t be ridiculous._ Shaking his head, he gets up from the bed. Clothes sticky from sweat and the bed linen itself isn’t smelling good anymore. Josh can’t remember when he last did his laundry or any household chores for that matter. 

_When did my life get this messed up? When did I let the bad things inside get the best of me? And why is nobody noticing?_

He’s fading away. Losing the grip of his own mind. His own life. Days, hours, minutes, seconds melt together into one cycle of thinking - fighting - contemplating - eating and sometimes even sleeping. Of course, Josh thinks about calling Tyler, reaching out to him. Tyler is his best friend after all. But every time Josh’s finger hovers over the **call** or **send** button his thoughts hold him back. 

_It’s not like Tyler has no problems himself, right? He’s busy. He’s happy right now. Married to a wonderful woman and proud of our band. Tyler deserves to be happy. Why would I want that destroyed? I don’t! So why do I even consider contacting him? I’m just out of my mind._

_But I need him._

_I don’t deserve him helping me. I can go through this alone, it’s just a low phase._

_No, it’s not. I can’t do this on my own._

The phone was back in Josh’s hand, the contact **Tyjo** open under his shaking fingers. And he just sat there. Staring at this small screen. He was still not able to be brave enough to call his best friend. _Please help me Tyler. Somehow. Please._

Two days later things only got worse. Josh doesn’t remember when he last slept, ate or even what time it is. Drawing back the curtain in his living room, he notices that the sun is setting.  
Red and purple and yellow are dancing, completing and playing each other. It’s transient but that makes it so unique and beautiful. When the last shade of brightness is replaced by deep dark blue and black and the stars are looking back at Josh, he lets go of the fabric. Letting himself and the room be wrapped in complete and utter darkness.

He sits on his bed. Shaky fingers grasping the sheet around his waist. His mind is like static. Nothing but absolute static. It’s like sandpaper grating his brain, leaving nothing but himself.  
Josh can’t describe this… **_situation_** inside his head as nothing but darkness. Consuming him whole.

And again comes the thought of talking to Tyler, no matter which way. 

_I need to do it now. I’m afraid of my mind. Of what it’ll do._

Josh catches a view of his alarm clock. 

_It’s 4:47 am. I can’t just wake him up._

_But I need someone. I need Tyler._ **_Now._**

Josh’s fingers are shaking so much he thought he’s not able to press anything right on his phone. Somehow he managed that.

It rings. Once. Twice. Thrice. Four times. 

_This was a bad idea. I’m disturbing Tyler’s sleep. I’m gonna-_

“Josh?” A drowsy voice says his name and Josh’s mind stops immediately.  
“Hello? Josh?” He feels like he’s going to hyperventilate. His throat is blocked, lips trembling.  
A broken “Ty…” is the only thing he can get out before the first tear runs down his face.

“Hey, hey buddy. It’s okay.” Tyler tries to calm Josh down with the most comforting voice he can manage.  
“Breathe. Breathe with me okay? In… and out. In… and out. You’re doing great. It’s okay, I’m here Jishwa.” Josh’s breathing regulated itself a bit over some time and he is trying to ground himself while Tyler is telling him encouraging words over the phone. 

“Tyler.”  
“Josh, what’s wrong? Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind right now?”  
“I-I don’t know. It’s confusing.”  
“I know. We can get through this. You hear me, Josh? We can do this, together.”  
“I don’t want to be alone. I’m afraid. I-It’s… I…”  
“It’s okay, buddy. I’m here. You won’t be alone.”

And little did Josh know, at the time they are talking on the phone, Jenna is driving Tyler to his apartment at 5 am. By the time they are in front of the house, it’s 5:45 am and Tyler is still assisting his best friend through whatever it is that’s disturbing him.


End file.
